I suppose this is a very applicable topic for my 100th post. As I continued watching the Rewired series on Gaia, I learned about the power of gratitude. In the series, Joe Dispensa talks about how if we want to attract good things to us, we need to broadcast loving energy outward. Almost paradoxically, it will naturally bring everything towards us. He goes on to explain why this happens with quantum physics. But that is a little too much for my brain to comprehend. At least for now. Either way, it was interesting how he explained that feelings of gratitude naturally send signals outward. He said if we could stay in a state of gratitude all day and not let things like traffic, or work, or life get in the way of that feeling, everything would start to change.
So naturally, I started to experiment with this.
Before getting into my story, I first want to say that I am by far grateful for Caitlyn. Even through rough times, she supports me and is always invested in what I do. It is easy to understand the feeling of gratitude because of her in my life. This is something that always follows me around, and while I may not always consciously draw attention to this fact. My gratitude for her at my core is a key reason why these stories can even exist.
On November 2, we had the second memorial golf tournament for my father. We were able to raise $15,000 for the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay, which was $2k more than the last one! I am grateful for my father’s impact on those around him throughout his life. Without that, I am not sure if I would have been able to stabilize in the way I did after his passing. It was incredible to see new people joining the golf tournament that did not even know my dad, but have committed to coming to the next one because the topic of suicide is so close to their hearts. It is overwhelming to see someone have such an impact even through death.
This led to a discussion with someone that joined my department recently. He caught me off guard asking about how my family was. It was odd because it’s not a question that people who do not know my family typically ask. However, because the golf tournament was so fresh in my mind as a family activity, I shared that with him. It led to a brief discussion of how my father passed away, but then this person I was chatting with had to leave the conversation quickly. And while I thought nothing of it, he later apologized for leaving so abruptly. I told him to not worry about it. In fact, I thanked him for inquiring further. I explained that I was grateful for this experience because it gave me this feeling that my father was finding a way for me to be connected to him and remind me that he is still with me.
These feelings led me to think about all of the signs I get from my father, especially rainbows. I thought about the many pictures that I have taken and special moments that filled me with a deep sense of connectedness. I remembered when I took a picture of the brightest rainbow I have ever seen at my work. Then I decided to send it to HR (this was uncharacteristic of me, however, I figured my dad would have done it so I did it for him). It was picked up by someone in marketing and she posted it on Instagram and added it to the TV outside of the marketing area. I thought about the times that I would walk to my desk upstairs during Blue Ocean and walk by the TV. Many times it was almost as if it knew I was there and it would switch over to the rainbow picture as I was walking by. There were so many strong feelings of gratitude from this experience over those long months that this image remained on the screen.
I decided to reach out to this person in the marketing department to say thank you. I had been meaning to but with discussing death, sometimes it can be uncomfortable for other people, and that is the last thing I wanted to cause. Literally, as I was thinking about these thoughts questioning if I send an email, I walked right by her on my walk around the pond. From that alone, something inside me told me to share the story. I did, and it was well-received. It was met with gratitude on her side as well.
I then told my friend at work about the experience and she felt inspired to send a message of gratitude as well to someone else. I could envision this signal of gratitude and how it rippled outward like throwing a rock into a pond. It is impossible to know where that gratitude chain stopped.
Additionally, I was talking yesterday to another co-worker about her job and some of the challenges and feelings of being lost that she is having since her boss just moved away and changed roles. I mentioned that I gave her boss a going away card, but last I spoke to him he hadn’t read it yet since he has been too busy. In the card, I mention my gratitude for his leadership in my first few years of work, even though I never worked directly with him. I am sure that the card will come to him at the right time. But my co-worker having these challenges mentioned that she feels like she never got to say a proper goodbye. I told her that there is always time to share her thoughts. She decided to share her as well. It even spilled over to gratitude towards me as well!
I also just recently posted about my gratitude towards The Intern, which is a big reason why I am even writing my 100th post.
I am also grateful for my job and my leaders. In the next few days, the new role that I was able to create for myself should be posted and my next journey will begin. I am grateful to Harvard’s Extension School for getting me to this point and I am grateful for UF’s MBA program that will propel me into my future.
I am grateful for this 5 am club for giving me the time and space to think deeply and feel whole. I am also grateful for the shortcomings that my persona has, such as overanalyzing and then staying up late, and losing a lot of sleep (which happened last night). But even with my issues, I learn so much about myself and it allows me to feel more connected than ever before by recognizing the importance of my limitation and issues for growth.
I notice that as I think about being grateful, things do instantly change in my body. I feel less stressed, more connected to other people, happier, and I generate a feeling that I can overcome anything. I recognize this too when I find myself spinning in my brain trying to fall asleep. I start thinking about everything I am grateful for and it is like this pressure lifts from my mind and it feels like it gets sent outward and upward. It really is like it was explained in the Rewired episode. Maybe this is all just in my mind, but it has been helping me sleep more efficiently (even when I don’t get a good night’s rest) and my body to recover effectively – my Oura ring tracker can confirm this with fancy graphs and data showing that in the last few weeks my body’s recovery has been the highest it has been in months. But regardless of that, this is a power that really has positively impacted me in the past week/ two and I am interested to see how it continues to impact my life and the lives of those around me.
