I was in a rut. Definitely. I think it is easy to find myself in one with all of the COVID-19 stuff happening. Basically, I burnt myself out at work and I went weeks of just half working. I didn’t have the motivation to keep working, and I was still unable to take a day off due to my involvement on a high profile project. So my mind went into apathy mode. I went to work and did what was needed and absolutely nothing more. I told myself in my mind, that it wouldn’t get any better for the next few weeks, and I resigned to that. I told myself that coasting was good enough.
The results of this? Lack of energy. I imagine that this feeling is akin to, if not already, depression. As my publish dates show, I have not been posting to this blog, I had been playing a lot of video games, and being overall kind of irritable. While there was a lot of negative energy there, there was some positive! I had been running a bit and I finished The Energy Codes, but overall it was just a cycle. Get up, work, numb my brain with TV, eat dessert, go to sleep.
Today was different, which I think was sparked by my new Audible book choice How to Communicate with Your Spirit Guides by Marie Manuchehri. To be honest, I do not know why I chose this book. It has been in my queue for a long time, and not only that, while I know a lot about spirit guides, there is no driving force for me to feel the need to contact them at this moment in time. I think I was mostly just curious what it would say.
Of course, the reason that I chose this book came thru yesterday on my run. It had guided meditations. Why is that important? Well, usually for my books that had meditations in the past, I would just listen to the meditation, and not actually practice it. I fully believed in the power of meditation, but there was a part of me that thought, “If the power of belief is so powerful, it shouldn’t matter if I meditate or not, the results should still come thru if I believe enough.” The Energy Codes changed this thought in my mind. I’ll paraphrase what it said in my own words, “You cannot make changes by just thinking it in your mind, you must act and do.” This aligned with many other lessons and adages I believed in. The classic – “Actions speak louder than words.”
When I woke up, I knew I wanted to change my routine. I had paused my audio book right when a meditation was going to begin and I decided this morning before work, I would meditate. I did so, and that changed my entire day. I immediately went into work feeling energized. Not only was I energized, but I was reminded about our connection to everyone around us and how impactful just a small change can be. This little 15 minute act led to 4 conversations today about spirituality and a deeper connection with all of those people, some of which I hardly ever talk to or know a lot about. It helped me feel awe today, which is hard to do when you are physically isolated from everyone and that made it all the more powerful.
Time for a new cycle to begin! Time for a new version of myself to emerge!
