Concepts and rationalizations that we come up with as kids is fascinating. Especially looking back. I have been thinking back to when I used to do the President’s Test in PE class. Many people hate running the mile, but for me it was one of the things that I was okay at. I wouldn’t even categorize myself as good because I wasn’t. However, I remember distinctly that I would run a mile and be exhausted by the time the last lap came in. There would be a point in the last 200 meters where I would put all possible energy I had left into one final burst of speed. I called it my butterfly power. I have no clue why it had to be butterfly power, but that was what it was called.
I never understood why my burst of energy seemed to surprise people, but it always did. I was by no means the fastest time, but my ability to put it all out for just the last push was something that I trained my mind to accept each time I raced. I remember my coach standing me up in front of everyone and telling them that I had heart, and that was as powerful of a force as anything. I think it’s more willpower/determination, but I think heart plays a role somewhere in there as well.
I remember a saying that my dad would say to me. “As we get towards the finish line, we pick up the pace while the others slow down.” I never understood why this was different for ‘us’, like some sort of genetic difference. Yet, out of my classes throughout my PE career, I never really met someone that was able to put it all out to the same degree. Now, there can be justifiable reasons for why this happened. Like maybe I kept a more reserved pace throughout the entire mile and then used up the last of it where it counted to just look impressive. This could be more likely.
I’ve been thinking about this situation a lot lately because I have noticed it in my work life as well. I have been super busy lately. I think I have been working more than I ever have. I have put in at work on average 10-11 hours on the weekdays and sometimes put another 6-8 hours on the weekends as well. I would say that I already worked more than the average person. However, now the biggest project of my career is approaching its finish line. The feeling within is telling me to put all of my energy into the last push. I typically would not have the willpower to work so much and still feel energized. Usually by now I would have resorted to needing some sort of caffeine to help me through my days, or needing some days off. I haven’t touched a drop of caffeine in weeks (maybe even months) and this year I have only taken 2 days off outside of any normal holidays. The excitement of the finish line is energizing me. It’s become such a powerful feeling. Like I can do anything. The more I work, the deeper I feel.
I don’t necessarily like that I am working so much and its definitely not a healthy balance for home life. This is definitely not something that is meant to go on for a long period of time. However, stress and strain are the best ways for us to know ourselves, and, in some ways, feel our true strength. I am grateful for the opportunities I have. I am grateful for my team. I know our determination to get everything done and have a successful launch. Because of that, I know we will manifest it. I already feel the payoffs of working hard and that continues to energize me as well.
For old time sakes – BUTTERFLY POWER!
