When I was younger and Catholicism was still the most understanding I had about spirituality, there were many times that I struggled with my faith. It’s not surprising considering how flawed Religion can be. The main thing that kept me believing in something higher were miracles I would read about. Now, I am not talking about turning water into wine or walking on water, and I am not trying to discredit those miracles either. However, I am talking about the miracles that occur all of the time around us that never seemed to make it to the news. People that heal themselves from literal terminal illnesses with just their minds. When I found myself struggling with my faith I would hone in on these stories. I’d read about how non-believers became believers in something more due to their experiences. This type of story always filled me with hope.
It wasn’t until I started working that I finally met someone who directly had an experience similar to one that I had read about. This happened with one of my spiritual teachers in this life.. I’ll call her Nancy. This is not my story to tell so I will not get into the specifics, however, Nancy had what is known as an NDE, or a near death experience. I was not familiar with NDEs at the time, but I listened to her recount her story.
She died for a small amount of time and said she felt the most powerful sense of love that she had ever felt. It was so powerful that she did not want to come back. However, since it was not her time, she was told she needed to return. She clarified to me after that she does not live with a death wish, but she knows that when it is her time she will be deeply at peace.
I was so surprised! I finally came face to face with someone that went through it, and it was so much more powerful to hear first hand from her experience. When you trust someone and know them to be a rational thinking person and they recount something that they are unable to fully explain, it is such a potent thing to admit. In general, people do not like the unknown. They do not like being uncomfortable. To have an experience that would typically make someone lose a layer of comfort, but instead to make them a more centered individual is so incredible.
After hearing her story, I found so much documentation online about people that had the same experiences. Countless people experiencing almost the exact same thing. How is that possible? In itself it is a miracle. Even if you try to discredit Nancy’s story, there are 100s if not 1000s of people that experience the same thing when dying and coming back and they usually have no knowledge of what an NDE is beforehand.
I had a moment not long before my dad passed that I shared this story with him. I remember him being taken aback that my co-worker mentioned that she did not want to come back because there was so much love and peace. I often look back and wonder if that was a front because of his insecurities that he was currently dealing with. I also wonder if this gave him any peace in his decisions. I don’t intend for these to be morbid thoughts but mostly just speculative. I do not know if my dad’s death intentionally led to my spiritual development (on a higher level). I DO believe that I was meant to meet Nancy, I was meant to hear her story, and it was what would guide me in my journey after my dad’s death. If not for her, I would not be typing these words here and now.
The universe is so much larger than people realize. Even larger than what I realize from where I was two years ago. All that it takes is that you have to be willing to lift the veil. It is scary. It definitely is. It is a challenging path to take and it is definitely easier to stay in the dark. It makes you feel uneasy and unstable, because literally everything that you believed is being ripped from you. However, here is my question to the reader. Is it worth living in fear just because it makes you comfortable? Even if the answer is yes. Just try once. Try once to read about a topic that takes you beyond the known world. You wouldn’t be reading these words if you weren’t just a little curious.
