In December 2019, I had a crazy idea to start taking cold showers. I read online that they helped alleviate stress and were a great way to start the day so I tested it out myself. I also wanted to challenge my discipline and see how I could peek behind the curtains of overcoming fear generated by the ego. Below is around eight days that I recorded with it. At least for today, I very rarely take a cold shower. It was not something that I kept up with, but it is something that I do recognize a lot of benefit from. Oftentimes, the things that are great for us are the hardest things to do.
Day 1 – as I woke up knowing I would do this, my body was more awake preparing. Before I got into the shower, I remembered when I was a kid and I would sometimes not wear a sweatshirt outside when it was cold. People would say that they thought I was crazy. The reason I did it was because I could experience a bit of magic within my own body. I recognized that even if it was cold, all I needed to do was take a deep breath and tell my body to warm up with my breath. It always worked before, so I figured it would help me here.
When I got in and started the shower, my body went completely into a bit of shock. My heart rate was going so fast that I started to hyperventilate a little bit. I could not process how cold it was. I mostly just stood where the water was only hitting my legs unless I needed to make a quick movement to get my body wet so I could clean myself. I noticed that my thighs feel the warmest after the shower. I believe this is because the body is pumping blood to those areas to warm it up.
Question to myself. So I am doing this because I believe in the limiting power of the brain. The book Super Attractor talks about how when you try to be an attractor, you will be tested by the ego. Our ego is trying to keep us contained in fear and physicality, but what if we persist past these initial fears? What is on the other side? That is why I am doing this. I think these physical laws are false limitations to a reasonable extent. I believe we are capable to experience much more than we think. This is the safest way I think I could experiment with body limitations.
Day 2: This time I woke up crippled by fear and terror for the shower. My ego is truly fighting me hard, yet it makes me feel deep inside that this is a powerful journey. I do not think my ego would fight me so hard if it wasn’t. Today is surrender. I need to surrender to my fears.
My plan is to get into the shower and then start it on while I am in it. I will start sitting down so that I can consolidate my body warmth. As I do this, I put a little prayer to the universe and ask it to help me overcome my fears. By surrendering in this way, I gained control. I noticed that the water wasn’t as shocking as it was the first day. Instead, I built it up a lot more in my mind of how bad it was. After a few seconds, I got a little used to it and started to let the water hit my whole body. My body still wanted to take quick breaths, but I forced myself to take deep breaths instead. It reminded me of some of the Firebending episodes of Avatar the Last Airbender. So while it was cheesy to pretend I was firebending, it did feel like it helped.
The next part of my mental challenge started to formulate after the shower. My mind started to tell me, “Okay, you did it. Congrats. Now we don’t have to do this anymore”. This is a struggle I face often because I like to jump to new things often. When I looked at this part of me through the fear-based lens, I recognized this as another way for my ego to convince me to not continue. I just need to persist, that is all I know.
Day 3 – I still woke up early, around 4:30. Not entirely because of fear, but I did need to go to the bathroom. After that, then the fear crept in. It took away my motivation. When it was time to shower, I followed the same process as before. My breathing felt even more controlled this time.
Day 4 – Today, I woke up at 6:40 am since I did not have work. I went for a run and then really procrastinated on the cold shower. Eventually, I did it. It was definitely easier. I still had that mild sense of fear before turning the shower on. It was likely a bit easier because it was after a run/ later in the morning when it was not as cold on the coldest setting. I am going to travel to Switzerland soon so I will need to try it there in full-blown winter.
Day 6? – This weekend was not as great for cold showers. On Saturday, I started a cold shower but then was bathing my dog as well. I felt bad that she was shivering, so I turned it into a warm shower. Sunday was my birthday and I was soaking my legs in a warm bath because I was very sore from a laser tag outing. Anyway today my body was fighting me hard to not go back to the cold shower.
After the cold shower today, I did have a revelation regarding why spiritual people/ yogis tend to take cold showers and then proceed into meditation. I went to a yoga workshop on the chakra system. They taught us certain yoga positions that could aid in balancing the chakras. In general, I never quite understood why yoga was so popular as a form of focusing your mind and meditating. I understood better today. During yoga when you hold a position it puts strain on your body. You are required to focus on what you are doing to keep that discipline. You lose track of the clutter of thoughts running through your mind. The moment you release the strain on your body everything dissolves away and in that same moment, there is mental clarity.
Cold showers parallel this. I spend so much time mentally focusing on being warm that when I am done, it dissolves away.
Day 7 – I put into practice what I thought about yesterday. Last night, I put together a crystal grid to create some intentions for new beginnings, both for myself and friends around me.
After the shower today, I went and meditated and confirmed my speculation. The cold shower puts the body into shock, similar to exercise. I was able to go meditate at my crystal grid altar and felt very calm. I meditated and prayed gratitude for my day and for all that I have. I asked for guidance into the new year for myself. I also specifically called out guidance for the intern I had been working with. At this point, her internship was coming to a close and I was hoping that she would get a full-time job. Either way, I asked only that the right opportunity would come along to serve her highest path.
Day 8 – Today I noticed that I shivered a lot more in the shower. I am not sure if it is because it is colder outside or what. I look forward to the strength these cold showers give me. I think this is because when I overcome a piece of fear for my day I am able to overcome a lot of challenges throughout the day. Or I am able to just do the things I drag my feet on that I might be afraid to do. I also feel way more energetic.
My meditation and prayer to the universe were answered with the intern because she received the offer. I have noticed that I have been asking the universe for guidance more and more because manifesting seems to be working more and more. I am unsure if that is in part to these cold showers or not.
