I only remember this book through the notes that I took down. This book was a good book to help us love ourselves better. We can be the harshest judge of ourselves. People that criticize themselves would benefit from this book because it helps reframe the mind to give yourself the same breaks you give to other people.
Notes:
- Our brains like to be in the comfort of what is known.
- We learned from our life how to deal with issues.
- Below our conscious thought, we worry about stuff and react to pain and problems habitually.
- With awareness, we can see the storm that occurs.
- Self-compassion – comes from understanding that all humans suffer. We all want to be happy and that connects us.
- We should look at our problems like a mother nurturing an upset child. The mother does not speak harshly to the child but listens and understands.
- Mindfulness – pay attention on purpose to the unfolding narrative that occurs in life.
- Common humanity – self-judgment makes us feel isolated. But recognizing that we are all similar can help us navigate our issues better. We recognize that failure and tragedy are part of being human. We recognize that we are not all perfect. We all have pain. Interconnection helps to realize that issues are not personal.
- Self-kindness – treat ourselves as if we would treat a friend with a problem. This is an interesting paradoxical look at the “golden rule”. Treat others as we would want to be treated, but also treat ourselves as we would treat others.
How to be Self-Compassionate:
- Self-compassion builds self-confidence. Research shows positive states of mind. Anxiety, depression, and stress cause the mental state to decline. Happiness, optimism, and life satisfaction help mental states increase.
- Neuroplasticity – our brains become accustomed to what we do every day. The more we practice what we want (or don’t want) the stronger of a habit it becomes.
- Being tough on yourself can be a motivator, but there is a price to pay. Self-compassion allows you to get what you need with less of a toll.
- Self-compassion is good at the moment, but it also drives us to become better individuals by working on what we need to grow.
- Maybe this is why I have this drive within myself for personal improvement. The book says that disliking one’s self causes isolation. In high school, I hated myself and drove myself to isolation. When I decided to love myself, it was my first step into self-compassion. After that point, I was motivated to make myself better and overcome challenges.
- Our brains are wired to react because of our survival instincts.
- Halifax – we live in a time where science is validating what humans have known for centuries. Compassion is a necessity.
- Mindfulness is important. You can be mindful without meditation, but meditation is a sure way to become more mindful.
- Beginners mind – try to allow your mind to be open to new ideas. This is very important for creativity and innovation. See things through a layer of new understanding.
- Emotional awareness – change from I am my emotions to I experience my emotions.
- Turn towards these feelings with curiosity and care.
- Radical acceptance – it takes strength and resilience to accept.
- Suffering = Pain x Resistance
- Counter resistance by being in the here and now
- Teams that are high-performance share these traits: psychological safety and empathy among team members.
- Everyone felt as though they could speak up and be met with compassion. Mistakes were met with compassion.
- Gratitude allows us to be more positive as we shape our minds.
- Nature impacts our mental wellbeing
- Mindfulness allows us to understand our habits when we react to a negative situation.
